Needles

The £25 Morrisons Christmas tree is out of the box and installed in all its glory. Money well spent as far as I’m concerned.

Following are step-by-step instructions on how to assemble a very fake Christmas tree…

Step One: Open box, 
swear profusely at what looks like individual branches.
Step Two: Assemble base. Not too bad.
Step Three: Insert realistic looking branches into base. 
Realise that branches are not individual.
Step Four: Connect interlocking sections together 
Step Five: Separate individual “branches” for more realistic look 
Step Six: Hours later, tree looks almost real
Step Seven: Hide crap tree with as much stuff as possible. 
Just like a real tree, sweep up fake needles from floor.
Done.

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