6am and I was up and emptying the toilet with a large yogurt pot. I then returned to bed with a cup of tea to await the urge.
7:30am and I was off to the Early Bird Cafe. I was indeed the early bird and they kindly let me use the toilet. I bought a croissant, it was going to be a long day.
8:00am and I was at the hardware store buying my second plunger. This one was a black plastic concertina which looked like something for artificially inseminating cows. The wily shopkeeper tried to sell me a flat rubber disk screwed to a wooden handle for £10 but I wasn’t falling for that trick again. The cow inseminator cost me £17.50. It had better last for the rest of my life. I did ask if I could return it if it didn’t work. No response.
Back at the little flat, I did a little enthusiastic plunging but to no avail. I caved in and rang the useless property manager who has never managed to repair anything in the time I’ve lived here. Still useless, I’m soldiering on alone.
On my way to work I ran into the porter’s underling who suggested using a mop. So that’s the evening’s fun sorted out.
And so after work and a trip to the acupuncturist (I was quite relaxed), I returned and again syphoned the water from the toilet with the large yogurt pot. I inserted the cow inseminator (nothing) and then mopped the toilet. The intention was to create suction but instead it absorbed the remaining sewage from the bowl. Shit covered mop, clean toilet.
I didn’t trust it and sure enough a couple of hours later, the water was cloudy and brown again. My shit kit (cow inseminator, mop, yogurt pot and small Dijon mustard jar for the bottom bit) sits in the bath and the smell has permeated my nostrils.
And so another night looms and hopefully in the morning, a plumber will arrive.
To flush or not to flush…