The two metre stick

Yesterday we met a lady with a two metre stick. She was standing outside the local bakery and had a hint of the eccentric about her. Mind you, increasingly these days I can see the benefit of have a big stick to poke a few people so might have to find one of my own soon!

This morning a man was standing outside with a large sign telling people how selfish they were to be outside. Seems like he was being more selfish by standing outside telling them, at least they were there to buy bread…

And so the madness begins!



Two weeks

It’s the end of two weeks and social distancing has become the new normal. What an adaptable species you humans are!

Working from home continues to go well with a flexible schedule to allow time to exercise and do P.E with Joe, a relaxed lunch hour and then an early finish to allow time to cook, enjoy an aperitif and have a bit of a dance in the kitchen starting with my nightly rendition of Solitary huMan. Personally I’m really quite enjoying it and might even prefer this to going into an office.

On the home front we have been busy moving along with the Gentleman’s Club (aka Red Room/Panic Room) and I have taken over kitchen installation as the fitters are isolating. So far I have installed drawers and shelves and am planning on hanging a door and installing the knobs so we can even open the drawers!

And today my Coronavirus impulse buy of a new heavy-duty sewing machine arrived. Intended for upholstery, it will fuel my “make do and mend” mentality as I can turn all my old clothes into new and exciting fashion choices for the summer… as if, let’s see if it makes it out of the box!

So with all that going on, as well as full-time work, walking the dog and maintaining a good dress sense, there’s not much time to think about the doom and gloom of the statistics.

Happy inside.


Two metre shopping

This morning I went out on my bike for a few essential supplies.

Shopping now means standing outside a shop on lines marked two metres apart as customers enter one by one (a maximum of two).

In order to pay, customers stand on lines two metres apart where a person wearing a face mask, sunglasses and latex gloves doesn’t touch anything.

I wore my beige cycling mask which makes me look like half my face is missing so I was perfectly dressed for the occasion!

Funny how it’s all becoming quite normal.

Routine workout

On a lighter note, this morning we started what is going to have to become our new morning routine, P.E. with Joe.

At 9am every morning, The Body Coach Joe Wicks is live streaming thirty minutes of personal training and so it seemed like a great idea to give it a try.

Over 900,000 people joined in online and as we jumped around and stretched in the kitchen with heart rates lifted and sedentary muscles a little surprised, suddenly we were positive, energised and ready to face the day.

Tomorrow we’re busting out the lycra and really going for it. Maybe we’ll be ready for bikini season after all, even if it’s in the kitchen!

Lockdown in London

Well, so much for waking up and finding it was all a dream!

Today is the first day of proper lockdown in London and the rest of the UK and it will be interesting to see what happens next.

It’s a lovely sunny Spring day, the clocks go forward this weekend, and the British,  particularly Londoners who don’t have gardens, take to the parks.

I have never seen so many joggers so perhaps there’s hope for obesity but what concerns me the most will be the closure of the parks so we can’t walk Agnes.

I went out at 6:30am this morning before the joggers had arrived and managed to give Agnes some time alone. The vibe is certainly different as people have stopped saying good morning and instead veer madly off the path to stay the obligatory two metres apart. But not everyone’s doing it and I worry that further measures will be taken…


All patched up

The trauma of Friday seems like a long time ago as the central heating is repaired and the floor is patched up. It’s almost like it never happened. Almost.

All we need now is to wake up and find that Coronavirus was just a dream or a big global hoax and we can all get back to doing what we do, just with more awareness and of course, in a more responsible, sustainable way.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

The new reality

This morning I stood outside our local Gail’s bakery waiting to be allowed into the shop to buy a loaf of bread. We stood roughly two metres apart except for a woman with a pram who pushed her child right up next to me. I felt obliged to comment.

I pointed out politely that if she wasn’t going to keep to a two metre distance then what was the point of any of us standing outside at all. Luckily she agreed and moved back but I could see that things could kick off very quickly as people will be come more and more frustrated.

The park was still busy with people jogging and personal training this morning and, to my concern, lots of people stopped to stroke Agnes. She is a very social dog who loves interaction, loves to be stroked and petted and given attention. Unfortunately now I’m thinking she may be a carrier and might have to stay on the lead to social distance.

Other than that, it’s a lovely Spring morning in London and the builder is here making a bloody mess in the kitchen!

Week Two…



Ducking Friday

We had made it through week one and let’s be honest, it wasn’t the easiest week.

I had a reasonably nice day planned but all went tits up as, mid morning, there was a strange bang and the sound of gurgling water as something in the central heating system had exploded.

I had been coping with everything pretty well but faced with the prospect of working from home, no heat, no hot water, house arrest and a killer virus, suddenly it was all a bit much.

We rang our increasingly incompetent builder whom we initially liked but who is now seriously giving me the shits and insisted that he come and sort things out. He initially wanted us to wait until Monday.

The worst thing was, he’d been round twice already because the boiler was losing pressure, couldn’t find the problem but reassured me that there’s was absolutely no way the system could fail…

The rest of Friday was spent watching Kev cut holes in the new parquet floor trying to find the problem.

At one point I thought he’d died (wishful thinking perhaps) but it turned out he was lying on the floor listening to the pipes. I was quite close to killing him myself at that point.

Eventually the problem was found and temporarily resolved. There are now two holes in the kitchen floor which felt like two holes being cut in my heart and which will need to be repaired (the floor, not my heart which is sadly beyond repair) but at least we managed to get the heat and hot water back on. It must be said medicinal gin and tonic needed to be administered upon the departure of Kev.

And to top it all off, the bloody builders are coming back on Monday!

Stockpiling booze

As the lockdown begins, the pubs, restaurants, cafes and gyms and anywhere remotely fun are now closed.

And so inevitably, predictably, Britain rushed out to stockpile booze. If you can’t get pissed out, you’ll have to get pissed at home.

Perhaps it’s drinking to escape, perhaps it’s comfort drinking, perhaps it’s drinking for fun or perhaps I’m overthinking it and people just like drinking. I suspect it may be the latter.

We have been self-medicating in moderation as a) stocks won’t last and b) actually I don’t have a b.

Rather than stockpiling, we took Agnes for a walk and somehow ended up at a wine warehouse where we casually selected a few bottles of wine for delivery and walked home again.

There was no panic involved, nobody got punched and I would question if twenty bottles could possibly be considered stockpiling?!

Socially distant…

Our vocabulary has expanded in the past few days to include terms like social distancing, self isolation and quarantine. We keep track of the numbers; cases and deaths and it sounds as though London is going to be locked down in the next couple of days and we’ll all be under house arrest. Such fun!

Hopefully, as dog owners we’ll be allowed out to walk Agnes and hopefully the park doesn’t close. Apparently in Spain, owners are renting out their dogs to enable other people to go for a walk so Agnes’ four little furry legs may be in demand!

While this is the word on the streets, people on the streets are still busy stockpiling. We ventured out yesterday to our local shops where we have a small local Tesco, organic greengrocer and butcher. The queues were long and baskets were full except for a man in front of me who was buying a single bunch of spring onions. It’s people like him who give stockpilers a bad name. Where was his mega pack of toilet rolls??

On the home front we are well stocked and with my OCD Excel spread sheet, I have logged all incoming and outgoing supplies. The freezer is full and for the first time in my life, there’s more in the fridge than half a packet of lentils and a dry heel of cheddar cheese. I think we can survive for a couple of months although we may need to eat some of the organic dog food if things get desperate.

And so now we wait…